I picked up this book because I, like many others, feel like I need to reduce my phone usage. It’s a constant distraction and I hate it when I find myself scrolling through some feed, not looking for anything in particular.

Newport does a good job explicitly explaining what I implicitly knew was true: there’s value in solitude and letting your mind think without forcing it to process a constant input of information. The philosophy of digital minimalism aims to reclaim that value by being intentional about technology.

Unfortunately, the book falls short for me when it comes to how to actually achieve this outcome. In its introduction, it states that willpower and superficial lifehacks aren’t enough to break the grip that the attention economy has on us; but, the suggestions given in the book read exactly like superficial lifehacks based on willpower. His biggest idea is the digital declutter, which involves removing all optional technology for 30 days. But how do we do this, if not through willpower?

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I read this on the recommendation of a friend. My wife and I asked about how they manage their personal finances, especially in the context of a couple. Not to get too much into my personal life, but money can sometimes be a minefield in our relationship, and we were looking for suggestions.

The first part of this book didn’t really click with me, because it’s about all the pitfalls that cause people to overspend: pressure from one’s social circle (“keeping up with the Joneses”), the distortions of social media, etc. Overspending is not really a problem for us, so I couldn’t relate.

But, I can say that once the book moved into practical advice on how to manage finances, I found a lot to like. Ultimately, it led me to a new perspective on budgeting. (In the book’s rhetoric, it recommends not budgeting, but really, it’s just budgeting in a different way.) To summarize:

The old way: we allocate a budget for expenses, and whatever’s left over is savings. The trouble is, sometimes expenses are unpredictable, so it feels like we’re taking away from our savings. Also, any sort of “fun” spending feels wrong because it’s also taking away from savings.

The new way: allocate a budget for predictable expenses and savings. Savings are further broken down, so that the intent is clear: e.g., is it for retirement, for an emergency repair, for an upcoming big purchase? Then, whatever’s left over can be spent without worry.

It’s a subtle shift in mindset, but one that I hope will take away some of the stress and anxiety around money. I can’t say if it works yet, but maybe I’ll check back in with another post after putting it into practice.

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This was a beautifully written memoir about the experiences of a Korean woman who was adopted by white parents, and her reconnecting with her birth family as an adult. When I say that, you might think that it leads to a tidy ending—now she’s got two families!—but of course, real life is more complicated than the clichés.

A memorable chapter early in the book involves a pair of Nicole’s acquaintances, who are considering adopting a child, asking her if she “minded” being adopted when she was a kid. It’s a question that assumes that the adoptee experience is monolithic, and that as long as Nicole was happy, they could be assured that their kid would be, too. The rest of the book deconstructs that idea, and shows us the messiness that lies behind everyone’s family story.

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